What is Life Coaching?

by Gabie Rudyte April 16, 2020 7 min read

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I work as a life coach, and at times I will run into someone who will ask me this one question: 

’Why would anyone need a life coach?’

It used to bother me a little because I took it as ‘your job is a tad ridiculous.’ However, now I love it when people ask me this question! Why? Because I get to tell them about the incredible work that I do and explain what life coaching is — and why it’s important! (p.s. 99% of the time, the person who initially might've laughed at the idea of a life coach, will suddenly become intrigued and fascinated!)

Those who are the best, have coaches.

Let’s look at this example: the best athletes in the world have coaches.

Do we ever question why Serena Williams has a coach, or why Stephen Curry has a coach? No! Behind great athletes, there are great coaches. After all, that’s why they became great in the first place. No one gets to a place of success by accident. It’s not something you randomly stumble into, and not something that comes with 0 effort and work. Sure, you might have a natural talent for something, but without putting it into practice and working on it — it will be useless.

Best athletes, actors, artists, business owners, real estate agents, shoemakers, salespeople didn’t come to be the best by accident.

They worked, practiced, rehearsed, learned, and studied — whether it’s with a coach, through books, or in seminars and workshops.

A coach is someone trained and devoted to guiding others into increased competence, commitment, and confidence.
— F. HUDSON

What is a Coach?

A coach is someone who has expertise in a particular field. An acting coach, a basketball coach, or a life coach — they know the ins and outs of that specific topic, activity, or path. They have the skills, practices, and techniques that can be taught to somebody else. They have a clear understanding of what works and what doesn’t. The coach can see from an outsider’s perspective what is working for the coachee, and what isn’t.

What are the weak areas? What are the strong areas? What can be improved? They have a passion for this work and a commitment to guide another in the direction of their vision and desires. More importantly, they can see the things that you yourself can’t see. The blind spots, the subconscious patterns and behaviors, habits that have become so automatic, you’re not aware of them yourself.

What is a Life Coach?

a hand holding a compass in a forest for an article about what does a life coach do

A life coach is someone who helps you identify your goals (improved career, more confidence, better relationships, excitement for life) and helps you develop an actionable plan to achieve those goals. More importantly, a life coach is someone who keeps you on track, helps you discover the limitations standing in your way, and teaches you the tools to overcome these limitations.

A life coach is your biggest cheerleader.

They want you to succeed, reach your goals, and live a life that excites you. However, this same coach will also be the person who will call you out on your excuses, habits, and bs! If you genuinely want to change — doing the same thing that you’ve always done is not the answer! A life coach will keep you accountable and support you throughout this journey.

When I work with my clients, I can see if they are on track with their visions and objectives. Is he living his values? Is she doing what she said she’s going to do? What blocks are standing in the way? Where does she stop herself?

I can look at the choices and actions that the coachee is making, and how those choices move them towards their desired future or away from it.

If you come to a great basketball coach and say: ‘I want to be the best basketball player the world has ever seen!’ the coach will most likely say: ‘Alright, I can make you the best, but only if you follow my guidance, do what I say, and promise to be committed and work hard.’

That’s what happens when my clients come to me. They will say, ‘I’ve lost passion for my life. I’m constantly worrying about what others think, I’m stuck in my comfort zone, I don’t like my job, I have no love life, I’m unhealthy, and I constantly procrastinate. I feel stuck. I don’t know what to do.’

My response? I can help you change all of that. I truly can: I've got the knowledge, tools, and action steps. However, you’re the one that has do the work!😉

Who needs a Life Coach?

I genuinely believe that everyone, at least once in their life, should work with a life coach. Life is a confusing, messy, and weird business. We have jobs to do, relationships to nurture, kids to take care of, passions to pursue, and bodies to look after.

Additionally, we all happen to function uniquely and differently. We all have different things that drive us, motivate us, and excite us. On the contrary, we all have unique things that stop us, sabotage us, and get in our way.

neon sign that says change for an article about life coach near me

However, a lot of us have accepted this notion of:

‘that’s just the way I am!

I couldn’t disagree more with this statement. That’s not ‘just the way you are’ — that’s simply the way you’ve been programmed. Everything from our relationships with our primary caretakers to what Steven-the-bully said to us in 3rd grade has had an effect on us. We learn protective mechanisms; we create rules in our minds by which we live and an endless list of beliefs and repetitive-thoughts that control us and affect us.

If you work with a great football coach, you can become a great football player. If you work with a great life coach, you can transform and overcome those things that don’t serve you and are getting in your way. You can do a 180 in all areas of life. Whether it’s a habit of procrastination, the fear of other people’s opinions, a belief that you don’t deserve a great, abundant life or those constantly nagging thoughts of ‘I’m not capable, I can’t do it, I’m stupid’ — all of these can be changed!

It’s not you; it’s your learned patterns.
If they’re learned patterns, it means they can be changed.

…But I’ve read so many self-help books, how is a life coach different? 

open books by a window for an article do i need a life coach

Let me ask you this:

How many times have you bought a cookbook in hopes of becoming a better cook? How many times have you purchased a fitness program or a workout video, in hopes of becoming fitter and healthier?

Did you actually do it?
Did you make those recipes? Did you do that workout?

I guess that it’s going to be a no. That cookbook is gathering dust, and that fitness program is long forgotten. I think this answers your question when it comes to self-help books! I love self-help books, personal development books, and transformational books. I’ve read hundreds of them; I adore them, I will continue to read them.

I also have followed the advice they give and do the practices they offer.

And they DO WORK… if you work them.

That’s where the small issue lies. A book is not someone you can have a conversation with. A book is not someone who is going to call you out when you don’t do what you said you’re going to do. If you’re incredibly disciplined, sincerely committed, you keep yourself accountable and have great self-awareness — excellent! You might not need a life coach!

However, the majority of us aren’t. We need a loving and knowledgable person to help us see what we can't see. To guide us and support us. That’s why even life coaches have life coaches. We are dealing with our own things, too, and need someone to guide us and kick our asses when we aren’t living up to our highest selves.

That’s why my advice is: hire a life coach even if it’s just for 2 or 3 months. You will save yourself a lot of time, money, and energy in the long run.

Saying that you don't have time to improve your thoughts and your life is like saying you don't have time to stop for gas because you're too busy driving. Eventually, it will catch up with you.
— ROBIN SHARMA


It's not too late to change yourself and your life (especially if you're less than impressed with either)

Nope, it’s not; it’s never too late to change anything. 

I recently watched a video about an 80-year-old woman who was running the New York City marathon. She said that the first marathon she ever ran was at the age of 60, and now 20 years later, she’s still doing it.

How incredible is that?! Can you imagine if, at the age of 60, she instead thought:
a cover of a book that says something needs to change for an article about what is life coaching

’Nah, never mind. Who am I kidding… I was never an athlete, and my youthful days are long gone. I’m not capable, I’m not good enough. It’s simply too late…’

It’s never too late to change. It’s never too late to become who you want to be.

You deserve a life of happiness, abundance, joy, fulfilling relationships, health, adventure, and passion. You do. We all do!

We all come from different paths, circumstances, and backgrounds. We all have our fair share of challenges and differences. However, we all are 100% responsible for what we do, how we respond, how we act, and what we change… or not change.

We all have the power to change our habits, our limiting beliefs, overcome our fears, reach for our dreams, and feel alive and abundant. All we have to do is take action. And then keep taking action when our comfort zone begins to stretch, and our mind begins to yell because all this change is unfamiliar.

That’s why it’s so important to have someone in your corner to support you, guide you, and help you deal with all the blocks that will show up once you start stepping into your new, desired life. They won’t let you fall for your own excuses once again — they will remind you of your vision, your goals, and cheer you on as you turn every breakdown into yet another breakthrough.

Got any more questions about life coaching or want to say Hi? email me at gabierudyte@gmail.com


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