Running Away From Problems

by Gabie Rudyte March 02, 2020 4 min read

a boat in the see with a mans foot on the bench

“Wherever you go, you take yourself with you.”
— NEIL GAIMAN


As much as we would like to think that moving to another country will solve our problems, or traveling around the world will make us feel fulfilled – that’s far from the truth!

Sure thing, a new environment might be exciting and fresh and shift certain things for us. However, soon enough, we will be faced with our habitual behaviors, thoughts, beliefs, and perceptions.

If we feel like crap about ourselves in our home town, soon enough we will feel like crap about ourselves on a stunning beach on the other side of the world.

IT’S NOT OUR ENVIRONMENT — IT’S US

You can’t outrun, escape, or hide away from yourself. Trust me, I of all people would know!

I moved to New York City in 2015 and lived there for 4 years. Before moving there, I used to fantasize about how incredible my life is going to be there. I will be at the center of the Universe! I will be so happy and fulfilled! My life is going to be magical because I will finally be where I belong!

Sigh.

open book on a bed



New York was definitely incredible, but after the first few months when the hype wore off, I realized that I still felt as frustrated and annoyed as I felt when I was living in Europe. My mind, of course, had to justify this feeling and thus came up with this genius interpretation:


“I’m frustrated and annoyed because I live with roommates in an apartment that I don’t fully love, so when I finally get my own place and live by myself — THEN, I will finally be fulfilled and happy.“


Fast forward 3.5 years — I had a stunning 1BR apartment and lived by myself, and yet… I still felt frustrated and annoyed. Not only did I realize that we can’t escape ourselves and run away from our so-called “problems”, frustrations, and emotions that are not being dealt with — but we also can’t escape the lessons that life wants us to learn.

IT’S TIME TO DEAL WITH IT

If we don’t address, deal with, and work through the things that obviously need to be dealt with and worked through — it will pop up over and over and over again.

That’s how repetitive relationship patterns happen, it’s how we keep getting the same outcomes no matter where we are and what we do, and this is exactly how we drive ourselves crazy.

Unfortunately, there’s no such thing as running away from our problems or ourselves.

“LIFE IS SUCH A GREAT TEACHER THAT WHEN YOU DON’T LEARN A LESSON, IT WILL REPEAT IT.”

Even if your outer world and your environment change, you take your inner world with you wherever you go.

Your beliefs, thoughts, perceptions, emotions, past, expectations, and habits. These are the things that go with us eeeverywhere! My question for you is:

What repetitive patterns are you seeing in yourself?
What same things or challenges keep popping up no matter where you are? No matter who you’re with?

I want you to be brutally honest with yourself because that’s the only way things will be able to shift. Our friends often might be too nice and our family might not want to hurt us, thus they won’t tell us the brutally honest things we might need to know so we can grow and begin to change things.

However, if you do have friends & family who are supportive and want to help you grow and evolve — ask them what they see in you that perhaps you don’t see in yourself. Any self-destructive habits? Unnecessary and harmful patterns, reactions, behaviors? (p.s. make sure these are family members and friends that truly love and care for you and want to help you see things for the sake of your personal growth. Having a family member/friend say mean and painful things to you simply because that’s what they ‘think’ isn’t the same thing as asking them for constructive feedback related to your patterns/behaviors!)

Brutal honesty

I’m blessed to have family and friends that are incredibly honest with me. I’m saying blessed, but sometimes I want to use the word ‘cursed’, haha!
No one likes being told that they are being snappy or unnecessarily harsh and reactive. However, how else will we grow? How else are we going to change things around?

I might get frustrated when I’m told certain things about myself, but that’s the whole point! I don’t want to be snappy and I don’t want to be reactive in a way that isn’t most productive. Thus, my only way out is through! By bringing awareness to these patterns, working on them, and releasing them.

If we want to be happier, feel more at peace, and change up our life — going to Bali won’t help! We need to look within and begin working on our inner world.
Only then will we be able to see some real changes and create different outcomes!

ps. Need help + guidance in developing your awareness, discovering your repetitive patterns & finally changing things around?
You can work with me 1-on-1 from anywhere in the world!


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