Caring About What Others Think: Let That S#!T Go!

by Gabie Rudyte June 14, 2020 4 min read

a woman standing by the sea with arms wide open

Recently I read a book titled ‘The Courage to be Disliked.’ I read it cover-to-cover, all 260+ pages, in one sitting and 5 hours.

To say that it was good would be a big understatement. I felt like it changed my life.

(Yes. One book and 5 hours had such a profound impact on me.) I immediately jumped on Instagram and shared it with everyone. I couldn't stop talking or thinking about it for the next 48 hours because I was in such awe.

If someone dislikes you, it is proof that you are exercising your freedom and it's a sign that you are living in accordance with your own principles.

I never thought that me stepping into my full power, living in a way that is important to me, and exercising my beliefs and principles is freedom.

But damn — IT IS freedom.

How many of us shy away from being our true, powerful, authentic selves? How many of us keep our dreams to ourselves because we are scared to be ridiculed, laughed at, teased, told 'this is crazy, don't pursue it.'?

Spirituality, Psychology, manifestation, energy work — all of these things are such a big part of who I am. It is what I believe in the most and it is what I'm most passionate about.

Do you have any idea how much fear I had when it came to me pursuing spiritual life coaching? Spiritual life coaching wasn't the problem itself — I knew I was going to be a great and supportive coach, I knew that people who resonate with my approach would feel called to work with me, and I couldn't be more excited to follow my heart.

What scared me was telling others what I do — others who are not into personal growth or spirituality or 'inner work.'

'Spiritual life coaching? What?!'

Oh, the endless conversations I would have with myself in my head about 'what will that person think' or 'what will this person think.'?

a neon sign that says do what you love


I finally had to let go of all the mental torture and tell myself:

' Listen, you're living for you. You're not living for anyone else. You not pursuing what your heart desires, and you not following the work that you want to do, is a disservice to those who need your gifts. It's a disservice to yourself. You will bury your gifts because you're scared of how it will make others feel, and quite frankly, how others feel about what you do is not your problem.'

It's always good to have a nice, sweet pep-talk with yourself once in a while.


I still stumble into self-doubt here and there (of course) and catch myself not fully disclosing my passion for coaching.

I would say, 'I'm a life coach' instead of 'I'm a spiritual life coach.'

To others, it might seem like not a big difference, but for me, it was a sign of me feeling afraid of what others will think. I was scared of making others feel uncomfortable with my passion and love for spirituality.

But once again, I had to tell myself:

It's not my responsibility how others feel about what I do and what I pursue.

My responsibility is to do my work. My responsibility is to show up for myself fully, and my responsibility is to be the best damn spiritual life coach to my clients.

More importantly, I realized that my desire isn't to change other people's beliefs and make them love spirituality or make them pursue personal growth. Some people think personal growth, spirituality, and doing inner work is silly — and that's cool! We simply see things differently.

The same if you're passionate about vegan nutrition, you're not going to pitch your nutrition programs to hard-core meat-eaters. You're going to find your tribe of people who share the same values & beliefs and work with them.

I had to find the courage to let other people dislike me.

a woman holding a note with a mary oliver quote on it

And trust me, as an old-time people pleaser, this wasn't (and still at times isn't) easy.

I want people to like me. I am kind, I am loving, and I am incredibly passionate and driven — so to think that somebody might not like me or support the work that I do is difficult to grasp.

But it's okay.

The Universe always supports me, and people who end up working with me are the most wonderful, committed, and passionate souls. They are committed to their growth and healing and see the world the same way that I do.

That's the type of people you want to surround yourself with.

I had to let myself be disliked by others, so I could go full-force towards my desires and so I could fully show up for myself. I had to be okay with others not understanding my coaching work because there are many more who do understand my work.

FREE YOURSELF

Dear reader, you deserve to be free. You deserve to be free of other people's opinions, expectations, beliefs, and views. You have to step into your own power, follow your own desires, and do whatever the heck it is that YOU want to do.

You have to have the courage to be disliked by other people because that's evidence that you're living by your own principles and values.

Go do you.


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